Posts Tagged questions to ask yourself

What Lurks Beneath The Carpet In Your Marriage? How Removing It Could Lead To a Much Improved Relationship

Stressed woman holding a brushMaybe you prefer to call it ‘sweeping things under the rug’. Whichever one you prefer, this is something that is often prevalent in a failing marriage. But why is this? Is it just because it’s easier that way? Or is it because it’s actually the best thing for a marriage?

What lurks beneath your carpet(or rug if you prefer)? What does that elephant that rudely appears in the room from time to time represent? That can of worms that never gets opened? Here’s the thing – what if this issue was brought to the fore and could pave the way for the marriage to get better?… Read more

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Help Me Save My Marriage – 4 Vital Steps To Bring The Happiness Back

4 steps to bring the happiness back

Admitting there is a problem is the beginning. Just by doing this, you have immediately created the possibility of fixing things. Things haven’t been going well between you and your spouse recently and you have decided that enough is enough. Well done for being honest with yourself. It might sound silly, but so many people find it so difficult just to do this.

Now, wouldn’t it be great if you could walk up to someone, say to them “Help me save my marriage” and they handed you a key and it was magically fixed? In your case, you have maybe looked online to see if the help is there for you.… Read more

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When To End a Marriage

Wife contemplates whether to end her marriage

There may be no more important day in your life than the day that you got married. You can remember the nervousness and excitement of that day when you promised to always love and be faithful to your spouse.

Thinking back on that day, it can be very disheartening when, just a few years(or even months/weeks) later, you are seriously contemplating divorce. For many newlyweds, the intensity of those initial emotions inevitably wear off after a few years(or less) of marriage when the excitement of those early days give way to the minutia of everyday life. The first thing to realize is that these are common emotions that everyone goes through.… Read more

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When Is A Marriage Over? Some Things To Ask Yourself Right Now

Sign pointing to the finishIf things have been strained lately, you might have found yourself wondering if the time has come to call it a day, to end your marriage and think about filing for divorce. But you may also find yourself wondering if that is the right thing to do and at what point a marriage actually is ‘over’.

This is a difficult position to be in, because you have invested a lot of time, effort and money into this partnership. There could be children to consider, a house, possessions, and much more to consider.

It’s very important that a massive life-changing decision like this is taken very seriously.… Read more

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Should I Get A Divorce?

The question of divorceBe honest – has this question crossed your mind recently? This EXACT question. Think carefully. If it has – it’s a tell tale sign that you are already thinking in terms of ‘you and them’.

“Should I Get A Divorce?” – you no longer see you and your partner as a unit, instead you see yourselves as two completely separate people who live together and share a surname.

“Should We Get A Divorce?” – you perhaps still see yourselves as a unit, but wonder if the best thing would be to break up that unit for good.

Does it really matter if you have asked yourself either of these two questions?… Read more

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Thinking of a Trial Separation? Some Advice and Things To Consider

separationWhen things get tough, your attention can of course turn towards ending the marriage completely. Before this point though, a lot of couples consider a trial separation. For a specific period of time, the couple will live separately. This can serve a number of purposes:-

-The couple has time apart to assess the marriage and their own feelings
-They can get a taste of what life will be like if they do ultimately decide to divorce
-Negative behavior and arguing will no longer occur in the marital home, this is particularly vital if there are children involved

For some couples, a trial separation can be a positive thing.… Read more

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No Physical Intimacy – Contributing Factor or Symptom of Your Unhappy Marriage?

No Physical Intimacy?

Unfortunately, most unhappy marriages have one thing in common – there is little to no physical intimacy. To enjoy a happy and fulfilling sex life, you generally have to be happy and secure in your relationship.

Many people make the mistake of thinking just because they are human beings and sex is something that is a physical ‘need’, it will naturally happen regularly when they are in a long term relationship. Like your marriage itself, this department is something that needs to be nurtured and not neglected.

How often do you and your spouse enjoy physical intimacy with each other?… Read more

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Dealing With Infidelity

Dealing With InfidelityWhen we get married we all dream we’ll live happily ever after. Unfortunately, in the world we live in, relationships never go as planned, and when one of you goes astray, the fairytale comes to an abrupt end. However, just because you haven’t got the storybook ending you were hoping for, it doesn’t mean your relationship is over. Sometimes the relationship is worth saving, but only you can decide if that is an option for you. Take a long hard look at your relationship and see where things went wrong and if you feel you can eventually put it behind you and move forward.… Read more

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How Important Is Trust In a Marriage?

Trust In a Marriage Is VitalTrust is one of the key factors of a successful and happy marriage. If it isn’t present, then you’re facing an uphill battle. It’s fair to say it’s the backbone of marriage. When you are sharing your life, your home, your dreams and your aspirations with somebody you should be able to have complete trust in them. You shouldn’t be worried about what they are thinking, where they are, who they are with etc etc.

Do you have complete trust in your spouse? If the answer is no, you need to figure out exactly why. Here’s some questions to ask yourself:-

Are they sometimes dishonest with you?Read more

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Expectations – At The Heart of Success or Failure

Danger - expectations
When we get married, we will generally have a whole list of things we expect from our partner in our heads. Some of us will discuss this ‘list’, but many of us don’t. We simply assume that because we are in love and have made the decision to spend the rest of our lives together, our expectations will be met. Unfortunately, life doesn’t usually work like this – and marriage certainly doesn’t. What are some common expectations both parties often have in a marriage?

-The other person will always be faithful
-They will discuss financial issues
-They will always be on the same page sexually
-They will share the same goals for the future
-They will always be honest and come to me with any problems or issues

Now, in my opinion, it should be perfectly OK to have most of these expectations because a healthy marriage consists of these things in my eyes.… Read more

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