‘Get the most out of an argument?!!’, I hear you say. Yes, that’s right. Arguments are inevitable, even for the most mild-mannered of couples. If you’re having them regularly, then you’ll know that in the heat of the moment it sometimes feels good to get some frustration out. However, you’ll also notice that, frankly, you feel like crap immediately after them. Ideally, you’d never have a crossed word or raise your voices at each other….but when things are tough, the chances are that you will do verbal battle. But what if the next argument you have could be used as an opportunity to make things better?… Read more
Posts Tagged resolving conflict
What Lurks Beneath The Carpet In Your Marriage? How Removing It Could Lead To a Much Improved Relationship
Maybe you prefer to call it ‘sweeping things under the rug’. Whichever one you prefer, this is something that is often prevalent in a failing marriage. But why is this? Is it just because it’s easier that way? Or is it because it’s actually the best thing for a marriage?
What lurks beneath your carpet (or rug if you prefer)? What does that elephant that rudely appears in the room from time to time represent? That can of worms that never gets opened? Here’s the thing – what if this issue was brought to the fore and could pave the way for the marriage to get better?… Read more
Be honest – has this question crossed your mind recently? This EXACT question. Think carefully. If it has – it’s a tell tale sign that you are already thinking in terms of ‘you and them’.
“Should I Get A Divorce?” – you no longer see you and your partner as a unit, instead you see yourselves as two completely separate people who live together and share a surname.
“Should We Get A Divorce?” – you perhaps still see yourselves as a unit, but wonder if the best thing would be to break up that unit for good.
Does it really matter if you have asked yourself either of these two questions?… Read more
In the current financial climate, many are struggling. The cost of living is rising, the number of jobs available is decreasing and money problems in marriages are more common than ever. If things aren’t going well, financial worries will only make things worse because it adds pressure to your relationship.
It could be that one of you makes more money than the other. When things are at a stretch, the other person may feel guilty or even inadequate because they aren’t contributing more. Some couples share their finances, both practically speaking and verbally speaking, others keep them separate and allocate their individual income for specific purposes such as bills, grocery shopping etc.… Read more
Imagine for a moment that you are having a conversation on the telephone. You hear someone through the receiver and talk through the mouth piece. It is give and take on both sides of the lines and we rarely talk over each other and we always make sure to listen carefully to what the other person is saying. The kind of give and take communication we have over the phone should resemble the kind of conversations we have with our loved ones in person, particularly within our marriage.
Communication is the most important relationship skill one can have. So why is it we let ourselves get into such bad habits when it comes to communicating with one another?… Read more
When we get married, we will generally have a whole list of things we expect from our partner in our heads. Some of us will discuss this ‘list’, but many of us don’t. We simply assume that because we are in love and have made the decision to spend the rest of our lives together, our expectations will be met. Unfortunately, life doesn’t usually work like this – and marriage certainly doesn’t. What are some common expectations both parties often have in a marriage?
-The other person will always be faithful
-They will discuss financial issues
-They will always be on the same page sexually
-They will share the same goals for the future
-They will always be honest and come to me with any problems or issues
Now, in my opinion, it should be perfectly okay to have most of these expectations because a healthy marriage consists of these things in my eyes.… Read more
Many couples that encounter problems in their marriage decide to attend marriage counseling. A professionally trained counselor will encourage each couple to open up, discuss their situation and will offer impartial guidance and encouragement. He or she will make sure the couple each get an opportunity to express themselves and will attempt to ensure the communication between them is positive, constructive and effective.
Ideally, he or she will not need to offer any specific marriage advice. Their ultimate job is to assist and enable the couple to reach compromise and agreement about their future. This future may consist of them staying together, or calling it a day and going their separate ways.… Read more
Arguments can contaminate any relationship, but especially a marriage. If you and your partner find yourselves doing verbal battle on a regular basis, then you need to come to the realization that this isn’t healthy and will actually have a detrimental effect on your efforts to save the marriage. Arguments occur when frustration boils over, and frustration can boil over for any number of reasons.
Some people grow up thinking arguing is normal, and even healthy. Yes, getting things out in the open and clearing the air can be healthy – but if you have to get there via raised voices, personal insults and accusations then something is wrong.… Read more
You probably found this site as a result of looking online for marriage advice, so there’s a pretty good chance you are not in a very good place in your relationship. There are limitless reasons why you may feel your relationship isn’t working. It really doesn’t matter what the reason is, because what it all boils down to is how you are feeling about what your partner is or isn’t doing that makes you unhappy.
You really have to face up to what you are feeling and try to put the time and energy into trying to understand why your other half does what he/she does and focus on what makes you feel the way you do.… Read more