When things get tough, your attention can of course turn towards ending the marriage completely. Before this point though, a lot of couples consider a trial separation. For a specific period of time, the couple will live separately. This can serve a number of purposes:-
-The couple has time apart to assess the marriage and their own feelings
-They can get a taste of what life will be like if they do ultimately decide to divorce
-Negative behavior and arguing will no longer occur in the marital home, this is particularly vital if there are children involved
For some couples, a trial separation can be a positive thing. In many cases, one or both parties will use the time to take a long, hard look at themselves and the marriage. This helps them to make the decision on whether they want the marriage to continue or not. For some people though, when the separation is over, things go back to exactly how they were before.
Psychologically, it’s fair to say that most couples that decide on a trial separation are probably going to find it difficult to keep the marriage together for a long period of time. This kind of separation is an indicator that divorce is pretty likely in the next year or so unless drastic action is taken on both couple’s parts. There are couples out there that use the time effectively, and when the couple reunite they take steps to not only save their marriage, but make it stronger than ever.
If you are considering going your separate ways for a while, make sure you are going to use the time apart to really assess how you feel about your spouse, and the marriage itself. If you still feel there is hope, perhaps you can take some action while you have some time and space away from the pressure cooker, in fact, even if you feel there isn’t any hope left, you have nothing to lose so might as well give something a try. If you have a look around the site, you will see two such things we recommend. One is Amy Waterman’s Save My Marriage Today eCourse, the other is our very own 7 Steps To Marriage Heaven E-Mail series. Why not give one of them a shot?
The bottom line is that if you do decide to have a trial separation, you use the time to move forward. If you just want the space for a while and don’t do anything, there is every chance you will miss the good things about your partner and reunite. The problem with that, is that the ‘bad’ things about them will still be there! A period of separation is not something that should be taken lightly, but it is something that should be used in the right way, regardless of how your partner is using the time.